Children’s behaviour …. one of the world’s most interesting phenomenon and it has been researched for decades!
Over the years, we have seen increased challenging behaviours with many perspectives & theories as to why. With the introduction and high use of technology, increased consumption of preservatives and possibly ‘too much’ information out there about the various parenting approaches shared by today’s influencers who, let’s face it, may not be qualified to share advice, we understand families are either confused, guilty or just tired!
So, let’s not focus on what’s changed but instead focus on what we can do as a family to support & guide our young children’s behaviour, resilience and set them up for success! Here are some strategies & approaches, all backed by science.
Understand what is Age-Appropriate
It is important we have realistic expectations of our children based on their age or developmental needs and emotional development. Age-appropriate behaviour refers to the actions, reactions, and skills that are typical or expected for a child at a particular age or developmental stage. It’s important to remember that every child is unique, and development occurs at different rates. Under the age of 3 years children are still egocentric, meaning they can still have trouble sharing or taking on the perspective of another. However, by the age of 4-5 years, children are more able to negotiate and problem-solve. For more information on this https://neurolaunch.com/age-appropriate-behavior/
Sleep plays a huge role
Sleep deprivation happens when a child regularly doesn’t get enough sleep or goes to bed too late. Your child might go to bed late every now and then leaving them feeling tired or moody. Ideally children under the age of 6 years should be in bed between 7-8pm. However, if a child does not receive enough sleep based on their age recommendations, this can affect your child’s physical health, emotions, and ability to think clearly. They may find it harder to focus, learn, manage their feelings, follow instructions & solve problems. Sleep deprivation can also weaken a child’s immune system, making them more likely to get sick and take longer to get better.
Recommended sleep is:
• birth to 3 months: 14-17 hours of sleep (including naps)
• 4 to 11 months: 12-16 hours of sleep (including naps)
• 1 to 2 years: 11-14 hours of sleep (including naps) with consistent sleep and wake times
• 3-5 years: 10-13 hours of sleep (including naps, if needed) with consistent sleep and wake times
What about diet?
The early years is a rapid time for growth for their microbiome. The gut-brain axis, a bidirectional communication system between the gastrointestinal tract and the brain, and its effect on behaviour, is becoming more understood. In children, the gut-brain axis plays a role in emotional regulation and cognitive functions. Research indicates that the microbial composition can influence the production of serotonin, a neurotransmitter involved in mood regulation. Diet has a profound impact on gut microbiota composition and functionality. A diet high in sugars, preservatives and unhealthy fats can lead to an imbalanced microbiota, characterized by a decrease in beneficial bacteria and an increase in potentially harmful ones. https://biologyinsights.com/diet-microbiota-and-child-behavior-a-gut-health-perspective/
Being a Play Partner
As young as 12 months children are showing the development of prosocial skills, which continue to develop presenting themselves clearly by the age of 4 years. Prosocial skills refer to behaviors that are intended to benefit others. These skills include actions such as kindness, cooperation, empathy, and sharing. Practicing prosocial skills is important as it promotes positive interactions, builds relationships and this can be done in play with your child, where you role model these skills throughout the play… whether it be doll play, Lego or being dressed up as a princess!
Can you believe having choice make a difference?
Giving children age-appropriate choices helps to develop decision making and problem-solving. These choices can remain simple such as which shirt would you like to wear and you offer the choice of 2-3 shirts, or what would you like for breakfast – weetbix or scrambled eggs…. Remember you’re not a café!
What about chores?
Well, for those of you with children 2 years and over giving your child a job around the house such as help to set the table, helping prep food, feeding the dog etc. provides your child with a sense of purpose. They are contributing to the family and feel a sense of importance. This also builds confidence and a sense of responsibility.
The power of connection!
Early relationships, often referred to as attachments, play a crucial role in how children perceive the world, regulate their emotions, and interact with others. As a parent this started from the moment you held your child and continues into each and every day through the simplest yet powerful moments. Ways to ensure your child feels secure are reading, singing or chatting at bedtime, having breakfast & dinner together, playing & laughing, listening to them & responding to their needs and of course, lots of snuggles & cuddles!
Time outdoors
Spending time outside has many benefits for children. It supports children’s confidence, imagination & creativity as they play in different ways, exploring infinite possibilities. It allows for large muscle movements which releasing growth hormone and endorphins, making children feel happy, helping to regulate their emotions. Time outdoors also reduces exposure to screens and boosts Vitamin D. Research also shows time outside even in cold weather supports healthy immune functioning. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/6-reasons-children-need-to-play-outside-2018052213880
We know challenging behaviours are exhausting and by no means is this an exhaustive list, however it might provide some ideas and strategies to support your child’s emotional needs and behaviour within the family.
For more information, please head to https://www.triplep-parenting.net.au/au/triple-p/
